06282017Headline:

Obesity & Inmates—The Cure for Global Warming

Image via Flikr Creative Commons, courtesy of Tony Alter

Image via Flikr Creative Commons, courtesy of Tony Alter

By KRISTEN LAMB

Those of you who already know me as an author and social media expert know that I’m all about working smarter, not harder. I believe that Washington could use a good dose of efficiency. Do more with less.

Why not? We have to.

So to show them how this is done, I will solve Global Warming, the high costs of health care, the growing obesity problem, violence in prisons, and the energy crisis, AND I will save Americans at least 15% of their income with my Pedal for Power Program. America is a land known for ingenuity, right?

Forget fossil fuels or ugly windmills and their carbon footprints. I recommend we build large Power Gyms where all cardio equipment is connected to generators. Cycle on a POWER BIKE. Go for a KilowattWalk. Burn calories and power homes with the SHOCK STEP.

Original image via Flikr Creative Commons, courtesy of Ivan Navarro

Original image via Flikr Creative Commons, courtesy of Ivan Navarro

Those who pedal for power get an immediate 50% discount on their electricity bills and another 10% for each family member who participates. Theoretically, if enough of the family Pedals for Power, the electric bill could go away completely, leaving hundreds of dollars to buy smaller clothes and healthier food.

Prisons will be equipped similarly, because let’s be honest. Inmates need to have productive ways to release all their pent up aggression. Inmates will be too tired to think of new ways to cause trouble, and they will also enjoy the wonderful detoxification powers of working up a good sweat. Instead of the taxpayers picking up the bill for air conditioning, cable, and lights, the inmates can generate their own electricity.

If they don’t wish to cooperate, then the cable TV goes first.

School gyms can be outfitted with Power Bikes as well, and this solves the power crisis, the environmental issue AND the child obesity problem.

Each child’s participation in gym class purchases 30 minutes of power for entertainment devices. If a child desires to surf the web, watch TV, use a cell phone, text, or play X-Box, then they have to complete at least 15 miles during gym…or there will be no power allotted for fun. If 30 minutes of entertainment power is not enough, no problem! Kids can Pedal for More Power with mom at the Power Gym and earn as much as three extra hours of gaming on the weekend…with 180 miles pedaled on a Power Bike.

America will become known as a country of six-pack abs and legs to die for. The environment wins, health care costs will rapidly drop, and the American people will all be thinner, happier and off their anxiety/depression meds.

America, you’re welcome.

****

Kristen Lamb is the author of the #1 Best-Selling Books We Are Not Alone—The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer. She’s just released her newest book Rise of the Machines—Human Authors in a Digital World.

Follow Kristen on Twitter @KristenLambTX or on Facebook or on her regular author blog.


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